Not A Pasta Chef Dammit (
polkayoureyesout) wrote2025-09-20 06:17 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Entry tags:
Ryslig Inbox
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, Eyes. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 800.85.800.85 *** Eyes has joined 800.85.800.85 <Eyes> this thing is giving me flashbacks <BANNED USER> SCREENED MESSAGE. UNSCREEN? Y/N -- This is not the man you seek. <Eyes> Seriously though, leave a message. <Eyes> afk, turning into a monster. | ||||
<C_137>
Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!
<knightmendicant>
< Eyes >
How's the pain and transformation going? Has it eased yet?
<knightmendicant>
Although I think there's a middleman: body mass. Frankly, at least for the type of werebear I've been turning into, I was just too dang scrawny to support the changes. The sheer amount of bodily trauma I subjected myself to reminded my body that I needed to enter hibernation soon to heal, and thus I started the process of preparing for hibernation through hyperphagia.
Or, in simple terms: I've been eating more than twenty thousand calories a day for the past few weeks and have gained a significant amount of weight as a result. Four to five pounds a day. Don't worry, it's apparently quite normal for bears. At least this adjustment is a lot more forgiving than the agony of my previous transformations.
< Eyes >
Cravings are normal apparently. I developed a sweet tooth and a desire to chug honey.
What about any other cravings? Bears take meat. There's a soup kitchen and the clinic can let you know if anyone donates their body.
<knightmendicant>
<C_137>
how hard is it to break into your apartment, Waldo? Scale of 1--10
< Eyes >
The fire escape is going to fall off the side of the building any day now and there's stuff under the window.
Why don't you knock?
<C_137>
If someone ELSE tried to break into your apartment, what would happen?
Re: < Eyes >
Who wants to break into the apartment?
<C_137>
Maybe someone got his creepy, disembodied head stuck way up his own ass and now he wants you dead. IDK, Waldo, I don't know your life
< Eyes >
<C_137>
but w/e, it'll be fine. I'll come over and we'll set up some deathtraps.
< Eyes >
I have a feeling we're more likely to get caught in the deathtraps than anyone else. Plus, I work at the clinic during the day, what's to stop him from just attacking me then. Maybe I should get a gun instead. Though it wouldn't hurt him unless I shattered a bone.
<C_137>
We're not going to get caught in the deathtraps, Waldo. This isn't my first time
Where are you RN?
< Eyes >
In a cafe.
<C_137>
What's your electricity situation like, BTW? Can you have the blender and the toaster going at once or do you blow a fuse?
< Eyes >
<C_137>
Just LMK when you're heading home in case I need to disable anything
<C_137>
Happy Halloween or w/e
There once was a boy who was a Halloween fanatic. He loved dressing up for Halloween, he loved pulling pranks and watching horror movies, and above everything else... he loved candy. One fateful year, while he went trick-or-treating, he visited a house. This house was creepy as hell! It was big, it was old, it smelled like a grandmother and it was owned by a happy, old rich couple. The boy came here thinking that he would be handed out big chocolate bars, because it was a rich person's house but when he knocked on their door... he was handed a bag of that shitty candy that nobody likes! Tootsie rolls, shitty flavoured dum-dums, those weird... peanut things... needless to say, the boy was heartbroken. He was so heartbroken that he died, right there on their porch and now, every Halloween he goes out and finds people to curse. He wants everyone to suffer the same way he did!
Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!
< Eyes >
< Eyes >
<kriskringle>
Your Secret Santa is Walter Strickler. "kairos" on the network. Price limit is whatever you want it to be, please gift something by December 24.
Ho, ho, ho!
< Eyes >
<whichdoctor>
< Eyes >
no subject
There's a card signed with Majima's name: ]
I figured ya had a record player already, but if not, I'd be happy to get one for the clinic. Enjoy.